Tuesday, October 11, 2011

When a woman becomes a mother...

“A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, a man becomes a father when he sees his baby."

True?  Maybe in most cases.  But isn't there a difference for moms as well when they actually see their baby?  Don't get me wrong.  Noah made damn sure I knew he was there between his acrobatics, the heartburn, and crazy hormones.  Greg, of course, was (in my mind) completely comfortable for all those months and never once worried about a tiny person karate chopping his dinner right back up his throat.  So the idea behind that quote makes sense.  but is either parent fully prepared for the amount of love they are going to have for this new life?   Seeing him, holding him, and kissing his sweet cheeks is something a new father OR mother can't fully understand until he/she experiences it. 

Depending on the pregnancy and the mother, some women do seem to become "mommies" sooner.  For example, when we had complications early on our midwife ignorantly stated that she'd see us next week if I was "still pregnant."  My instincts said to beat the crap out of her for suggesting my baby wasn't going to make it.  Fortunately I had restraint and simply asked to never EVER be scheduled with her again.  Of course, she ended up delivering my son and I've long since forgiven her insensitivity, but at the time this woman discovered her inner Mama Bear!   I've heard other moms say that they "got it" because they had been preparing for so long (mentally, physically, financially, etc.).  While others went through similar situations as I did, and had more experience protecting their child prior to birth. 

Then there are those on the other end of the spectrum. 

I admit to being a fairly selfish person, but sometimes I'm blown away by just how selfish some mothers are.  Yes, I was desperate to have my body back to myself, but that didn't mean I caved and drank a beer or a glass of wine just because I felt like it.  And how many times have you seen pregnant women smoking?  Some mothers just don't consider their unborn child.  They are more concerned with what they want right now than about what effects it may have on the child.  As a side note, let me say that I do give credit to the women who fight to give up their bad habits quickly upon finding out they are pregnant.  They are an example of the "I get it" moms.  (Afterall, an addict weaning quickly is often more successful than one quitting cold turkey.) It's the ones that continue, however frequently, simply because they want to.  "That beer looks so cold and frosty. One won't hurt!"  "My day is sucking. I need a smoke. So what if my baby weighs a little less? Little babies are cute!"  I wanted to smack myself writing those two sentences. 

I'm not sure what I'm getting at with this blog... It's pretty much just a rant after reading something online.  So I think I'll just end this abruptly.